8-bit

May Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson, and especially Billy Mays RIP. It's hard to imagine that they're gone.

It is my birthday today, thus making it the best day of the year!

Sorry there haven't been any new posts or comics in a long time. My life has been extremely chaotic, unpredictable, and at some points downright hostile lately, so I'll start posting again when things cool down.

Dramatis Personae:

Kaiju: a somewhat kleptomaniac Deku Scrub
Rhia: Kokiri jinx and part-time sorceress
Fred: a homeless Hylian prophet of Din
Javan: the Zora singer more frequently known as “fish”
Tongoro: Goron smith and swordmage; suffered from an absent player at the first session
GM: a GM (me)

(ooc): Stands for "Out of Character."

Session One:

Establishing important facts about our characters' initial situations
GM: Are you two together . . . in the geographic sense?

Why you should never let a Deku Scrub loose in a mask shop
GM: No, you cannot steal Majora's Mask.

A sterling example of how to respond politely to blackmail . . .
Kaiju: You, Mister Cloak-Man, had better be careful what you tell people unless you want my seed in your head.

and to being bumped in doorways.
Kaiju: Look, watch where you step unless you want my seed in your head.
GM: No! Bad tagline, bad!

Nothing like a dramatic introduction
Fred: They call me . . . Fred

Five minus two equals?
Kaiju: Look, do you really need these other four guys? Me and this Kokiri can handle it all.
Javan: Except counting, apparently.

Always know your rituals
Fred (ooc): Could we ask the hand? The blue hand that floats?
GM: Oh, Hand of Fate.
Javan (ooc): Yeah, we want to talk to the hand.

It's the simple pleasures that make life worthwhile
Rhia: All I care about is that I have a pony and I can explode things.

When “let's meet at the city gates” really doesn't cut it
Probably Javan: Look to the west . . . at dawn!

Mini-session (Session 1.1):

Most of the session was devoted to explaining the 4e combat system, and we were missing players, so very little actual roleplaying happened.

I don't think real adventurers get trash-talked by gangs of little kids:
Lizalfos: Well, I wouldn't say teach, but...it looks like you could use some schooling.
Javan: Someone needs schooling, certainly

Discussing possible targets of a bard at-will
Javan (ooc): so I can Viciously Mock Kaiju as much as I want.

Explaining the concept of a Bull Rush, as performed by Kokiri like Rhia:
Javan (ooc): It's hard to keep your footing in the face of an angry midget.

Session 2:

Wondering whether we'll get to deal with some of the more interesting bits of Link to the Past; also, Javan has some issues with the party's racial politics:
Rhia (ooc): Are we going to do the whole turning-into-bunnies thing?
GM: The Dark World?
Javan (ooc): I'd turn into a fish! No-one in the party would notice the difference!

Trying to ride across the bridge to Gerudo Desert, after the various bridge issues in Twilight Princess:
Javan (ooc): Has someone stolen the bridge?
GM: No, it's still there.
Tangoro (ooc): We'll see how that lasts once Kaiju gets through with it.
GM: Kaiju wouldn't do that, he only steals stuff he wants to.
Javan (ooc): I question the concept of stuff Kaiju doesn't want to steal.

I think this speaks for itself, really. And if it doesn't, I certainly can't explain it:
Fred (to Kaiju): I am convicted that Din is not your mother.

Kaiju's player had to leave for an hour, with the result that Kaiju took an unexpected detour on the way to the dungeon. After the party was reunited:
Rhia: What did you do? Where were you? You put a mannequin on the horse! How could you do this to me? We've been friends for such a long time . . .
Kaiju: I wanted more masks . . .

So how exactly does Vicious Mockery kill something?
GM: The keese contemplates the essence of its life, comes to the conclusion that it never existed, and removes itself.

Our minibosses do the cheesiest intros.
GM (as Tempest the intelligent thunderstorm): There is no calm before the storm . . . there is only Tempest!

After beating the miniboss, a hallway we'd already travelled down shifted to have a new endpoint. Not all the party was happy about this:
Fred: I think Din is keen on the laws of physics.

At one point in the adventure, the entire party made a perception check and the only person to pass was Rhia, whose player had just stepped outside for a breath of fresh air. Someone had to improvise a way for the rest of the party to learn what she'd seen:
Kaiju's hand (as Rhia, in Kaiju's normal tone of voice): Hey, guys, check out that hidden lever!

The final boss of the dungeon decided to test us with the game of chance of our choice. How to make sure chance is on your side:
Fred: I vote we play Rock, Paper, Scissors with the Hand of Fate.

Quotes and thoughts transcribed by Edward Newkirk (Javan). Many thanks to him for volunteering to keep track of these things.

Session 1.1
We return to our heroes as they are about to leave Castle Town on their journey to the Gerudo Wastes Lighthouse. Just as they were leaving the western gate, they were stopped by a gang of lizalfo kids known as the "Bombers." The Bombers heard they were on a quest, and made the party spar with them to make sure they were ready.

The party members, being heroes, were naturally deemed ready. ;)

Session 2
The party ventures forth toward the desert to the west. As they are crossing Hyrule Field, they notice that Kaiju is missing, and that he fooled them with a mannequin. Deciding to press on anyway, they reach the bridge to the Gerudo Desert after a few days. As the party starts heading off in one direction, Fred hears the voice of Din commanding him to go another way. He leaves, and Javan, Tongoro, and Rhia continue onward.

The three soon reach the lighthouse to discover a large flying beast circling the tower overhead. As they enter the antechamber, Kaiju drops from the ceiling, and Fred walks through a volcanic portal. Kaiju explains he was captured by a Wallmaster while trying to steal some masks. What happened to Fred is unknown. The arid sandy lighthouse held many light-based puzzles and storm-related traps, including a storm generator that summoned Tempest, the living storm. After a long, arduous fight against one of the lighthouse's guardians, the party emerged victorious.

As they ascended the steps of the tower, the beating of large wings grew louder and louder. As they reached the top, they were greeted by Typhon, the dragon of the sky and storms, keeper of the lighthouse. Having already proven their strength by defeating Tempest, he tested their wits by allowing them to play against him in a game of chance of their choice.

Fred had an idea. With his Hand of Fate ritual granted to him by Din, perhaps they could play Rock, Paper, Scissors. The hand's purpose is to divine a possible outcome of an action, so they simply used the hand to determine which to choose, winning the game. Typhon, impressed by their cunning, bestowed upon them the Seal of Sky, lit the lighthouse, and transported them back to Castle Town via a magic whirlwind.

The party has noticed that the lighthouse to the North, the Ocean Lighthouse, is now lit as well. They decide to head to Death Mountain t

Have a safe and happy Easter everyone!

This series will be a brief recounting of the events that happen in my Zelda-themed 4th edition D&D game.

Javan is a zora storyteller and musician who is searching for information regarding the legends of Link, to create an epic song in his honor. He is performing at Telma's Bar as a way of paying for room and board while in town.

Fred was once part of Castle Town's city watch. Then he heard the voice of Din, the goddess of Power. She spoke to him, and he answered her call. Unfortunately, his overly zealous nature got him kicked out of the watch. The homeless, slightly crazed, and middle-aged hylian now wanders the streets, threatening to rain doom and fire upon those who oppose the will of Din.

Riyah used to live in Kokiri Forest with the other kokiri, until things around her would spontaneously combust or explode. Since she became a danger to the community, she was asked to set out and explore the wide world. She and Kaiju, a deku scrub thief looking to expand his store of shiny treasures, decide to visit the Happy Mask Shop.

At the Happy Mask Shop, Riyah (who is secretely a chaos sorcerer) "accidentally" sets off a Blast Mask, which causes all of the masks to go flying and sets the Happy Mask Salesman into a fit of confusion. Meanwhile, Kaiju steals some masks. They convince the Happy Mask Salesman the explosion had nothing to do with them, and leave the shop.

Meanwhile, the good people of Castle Town call the city watch on Fred, as he is frightening the townsfolk with his "preaching." Fred escapes to the Temple of Din in the religious district, and settles into an afternoon of prayer.

After a decent afternoon of performances, Javan takes a break. He runs into a drunk who doesn't take too kindly to outsiders in his town. Javan easily outsmarts him and walks away.

Eachof these groups is approached by a mysteirous figure cloaked in green, who hands them a note to meet at Telma's Bar at twilight, and then disappears.

At the bar, they meet with him and another cloaked figure, and a goron swordsman. The figures explain that an army is massing in the west, near the Gerudo Wastes. The leader is an alchemist bent on attaining ultimate power and immortality. He seeks to light the four lighthouses of Hyrule to do so. The characters must stop him,

Woohoo my parents are visiting! I miss them quite a bit, ever since they moved across the country. Plus, my little brother is coming down from school to visit.

I'm gonna have myself a real good time! :D

Welcome to the 8-bit website! All of the comics I've made thus far have been posted, but I still have some PSAs and general 8-bit-related artwork to post. Thanks for stopping by!